Ragnarok Storybook
by Thingy The Blob
Summary: A few ragnarok versions of popular baby stories and fairy tales, tell me a story you'd like me to include in a review if you want. PG just in case
1. The 3 Little Petites

The first story of the storybook is submitted to you by: Thingy The Blob, the author who makes garbage look good!  
  
The rest of the story of the storybook is submitted by the same person, lucky lucky you!  
  
The first story of this book shall be...  
  
The 3 Little Petites!  
  
One day, a big and mighty dragon told his wife "Beloved one, our babies are old enough to take care of themselves!" Naturally, the mother agreed. She told her 3 little babies, a sky petite, an earth petite, and a deleter: "My cute little babies! It's time you move out of the house! Find yourself some materials to build a house, and remember your loving mother and mighty father!" The sky petite pillaged a farm, and got hay for himself! He loved the hay, it was so soft, and he could rest his tiny little wings on a pile of it. He built his house out of hay! The earth petite pillaged a lumberjack's storage room. He loved wood, it was so fun to burn! He built his house out of wood! The deleter, being the smartest, strongest and oldest of the 3, went to a carpenter's storage and stole all his bricks. He loved bricks, they were hard and made his training easy! He built his house out of bricks! One day, a mean and nasty knight named "The Big Bad Knight" wanted something to eat! He was hungry and he ran out of meat! He was also an excellent opera star and a champion swimmer, so he could breath in deep! He went up to the sky petite's house, and he said "OPEN THE DOOR, FILTHY BEAST! I WANT SOME FOOD!" The petite responded "NEVER! You're a bad bad human! Mommy told me we only trust kind humans!" The Big Bad Knight said "FINE! Your mommy will be slayed by my very hands for having to ruin such a nice dinner's house!" He puffed, he huffed, and he let out a HUGE blow! It blew away the poor little petite's house, and the petite was helpless. The Big Bad Knight came over, and slayed the baby dragon, and roasted him to have a nice dinner. But as you all know, petites are quite small! Nothing like the pecopecos The Big Bad Knight was used to eat. The Big Bad Knight went to the earth petite's house, and he said "OPEN THE DOOR, FILTHY BEAST! I WANT SOME FOOD!" The petite replied "Go away, dirt! I am a mighty dragon with a nice looking house!" The knight said "FINE! You think you're a dragon, let us fight face to face!" He huffed, he puffed, and he let out a HUGE blow! It blew away the poor little petite's house because the little petite burnt the inside of his house to ashes. They dueled til near sunset, but the petite finally was worn out and died. The Big Bad Knight roasted the little petite and ate him. The Big Bad Knight was still hungry, because the duel took alot out of him and his underleveled body, so he set off for the final house-The Deleter's House, as it said on the sign. He cried "OPEN THE DOOR, FILTHY BEAST! YOUR BROTHERS ARE DEAD, THEY WERE SLAIN BY ME! UNLESS YOU WANT THE SAME FATE, GIVE ME SOME FOOD!" The Deleter replied calmly "My brothers were weak, they were a disgrace if they have lost to you in a fair fight. I saw you, you blew away their houses after they've came home from hunting. Try and do the same to me, you shall not succeed..." So, the Big Bad Knight huffed, he puffed, and he let out a HUGE blow. The house didn't budge, so he said "Fine, the door may not open, but the chimney is open!" So he climbed up to the roof. He jumped down the chimney, and instantly got roasted left and right by the deleter's firewall. He died, and he ended up to be the dinner, and the deleter lived happily ever after.  
  
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The end!  
  
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please be nice and tell me all you think I can improve on this story book! 


	2. Novicella

Well, since the ONLY reviewer(Proves my superiority over other authors!) has requested Cinderella, and so did my idiot of a friend, I, the worst author out there, shall present to you...  
  
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NOVICELLA!  
  
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Once, there was a happy family in the town of Prontera. A young and beautiful girl resided there. She was inexperienced, and her name was Novicella. Ofcourse, her inexperience and her name implies she is a novice. She lived happily with her family. But one day, fate has struck her hard and blunt across the face: Her mother died. Mainly because her mother went to sleep when making money by selling her valuables on the street, and some random rogue came, robbed her of all items, then ran off leaving her sleeping with only her cloths on. Soon after, a random rude citizen came, and said "LOLZ N00BZ 0F PR0N7 LIEK I R THE PWN J00! D34D BR4NCHZ0R!". He used a dead branch, and summoned the fabled monster known as the Poring. Everybody trembled with fear, but Novicella's mother was sleeping and was helpless. The poring mercilessly swallowed the poor lady, and was never seen again. Well, now all THAT has happened, Novicella's dad married another woman. She was cruel, uncaring and evil, unlike Novicella's real mother. Whenever Novicella's father is gone, she'd torture her over and over and made her do chores while her own daughters were off shopping for stuff that only the royalties could afford. Eventually, Novicella's father died from hunting. He tried to kill the poring that had abducted Novicella's mother, and was killed in the process of doing so. Novicella weeped, but she had too much chores to do. She'd do everything around the house and not allowed to leave. Her cruel step-mother forbid her of doing anything. One day, however, there was a dance being held at the new prince's castle. The prince wished for a lovely and kind lady to be his beloved queen once his father has descended the throne. Novicella, ofcourse, was forbidden to go while her 3 step sisters dressed in their most expensive clothes and partied. Novicella weeped and cried, but just then a fairy god mother came. She said "Oh young beauteous girl, you are fit for a queen!".  
  
Novicella replied "But why? I am but a lowly slave of my step-mother...".  
  
Well, ofcourse, having to make the story intresting, the fairy god mother replied "Well, you are lovely and kind!" instead of "Thingy The Blob told me to say that...".  
  
The fairy god mother offered her help to get Novicella into the party, and ofcourse Novicella took the favor with gratitude. The fairy god mother summoned a Jakk, and mercilessly beat it to death. She picked the pumpkin that dropped, and created a carriage with 2 nightmares. She handed Novicella a Wedding Dress, due to lack of dressed in RO, and she wore it immediately. She made a pair of Crystal Pumps appear on Novicella's feet, and she looked absolutely gorgeous. The fairy god mother warned "You must not stay until after midnight, or you shall revert back to normal!". With that, the carriage drew Novicella in and Novicella was carried to the castle. As soon as she entered, the bored looking prince's eyes sparkled up. As quickly as the prince rushed to Novicella's side, he asked "May I dance with you, fair lady of my land?"  
  
"Ofcourse, my prince, for I am willing to serve you for eternity..." Replied Novicella. With that, they started dancing to the orchestra led by none other than the famous author: Thingy The Blob, who loves to cameo himself every chance he gets.  
  
"Ahh... You look gorgeous, oh beauteous one... May I know your name?" Asked the prince, as they danced gracefully across the great dancing floors reserved for royalties. But with that sentence, so did the sound of the clock tower to indicate the arrival of midnight. Novicella had to leave, and so she did. She ran out, but one of her crystal pumps was dropped along the stairway. As the pumpkin carriage dissapeared into the darkness, the prince only sighed, and looked at the crystal pumps. The following day, he set out to look for the girl who wore these almost magical shoes. He asked all the ladies of the land to gather at one place, where he was to test the shoe to see if its the right size for the one and only girl he had feelings for. Many tried, none of them succeeded. Novicella's rotten step-mother forbid her to go, while all 3 of her step daughters failed the test as well. Finally, the prince asked "Who is the one and only girl who I have not yet seen, and who have not yet tested these very shoes?". Novicella's step-mother finally gave in, and allowed the prince to summon Novicella to him. Novicella came, as the prince ordered, and Novicella tried on the shoes, as the prince ordered. It fits perfectly, and with that, the prince held her hand. They got married after that, with the priest being, ofcourse, the famous author: Thingy The Blob, who loves to cameo himself in every chance he gets.  
  
The End  
  
Oh wait, I am missing something...  
  
They lived happily ever after.  
  
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The End  
  
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Weee, that turned out crappy! Oh well, you guys got more things to claw your eyes out for! 


	3. The Ugly Poring

This story is dedicated to: Kairi21, and her wish of our favorite little monster morphed from a duckling! Weeee! Happy happy, another one of the oh so crappy stories by your least favorite author, Thingy The Blob! The change of novicella will take place when I feel like it(in other words, when I learn how to manage my life as a lazy bum). Enjoy!  
  
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The Ugly Poring  
  
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Near a poporing nest, deep within pyramids level 1, there lived a tribe of poporings. Because they have lived there for so long, they have no contact with the outside world. One day, a mother poporing layed many many eggs, and one of them looked particularly small. She thought: "Oh well, another small child, we're used to that now." But, the elder poporing said "It might not be one of our species!" The mother ignored, and continued warming her eggs. After a few weeks of hard work and warming, the eggs finally hatched.... Except one, the one very small... But the mother kept on trying, and her kids were displeased. Dispite that, the egg finally hatched, and a... PINK poring came out! The mother gasped in shock, and fainted. When she recovered, she learned to accept the baby, and so they started their first days in life. The mother lead their kids to learn how to use Detoxify, but the poring never could manage. The mother tried making her children learn how to poison their targets, but the poring kept on freezing them instead. Finally, the mother tried making the poporings kill thief wannabes, but the poring ended up splattered and had to be healed and revived. The mother declared: "You are not my baby! Leave! We don't want you anymore! You are not a poporing, you are a mutant, a freak!" Heartbroken, the young poring cried and left... In the outside world, he left the deserts of morroc, being called a freak all the way by poporings of the pyramids and drops of the deserts, and it finally reached the Poring Land. But, unfortunately for the poring, it was winter already. The poring was cold and had no place to live, so he hid under a hollow tree where no other porings resided. He slept, for a very very long time... So long, he didn't wake up, and many took him for dead... Inside his deep slumber, he could still hear his mother's voice... "You are not my baby! Leave! We don't want you anymore! You are not a poporing, you are a mutant, a freak!" It echoed through his mind, destroying his ego and self-esteem. He cried in his slumber, but he never gave up. He would live, and find a new life, and just as then... He found himself awakened. He saw a ghostering in front of him, trying to wake him up. The ghostering said: "Come, young angelring. The previous was slain, and you have been chosen! You shall lead the other porings in our vegence against the black-hearted humans! You shall teach humans our power!" Just as then, the poring realized that he was a poring, he wasn't a defect child of a poporing, he was a glorious poring, chosen to be the leader of the porings. He endured much, and his true self awakened, and ofcourse, he was happy. He finally belongs, and he was finally respected. But, later, he was somehow captured and was taken as the pet of a young knight named Thingy The Blob, who loves to cameo himself in every story in every chance he gets, but he was happy, and he lived happily ever after.  
  
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The End  
  
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Yea yea that doesn't sound like the ugly duckling but, sue me! I haven't read the story for like... what... 7 years?! Hell, you guys are even lucky I remember the story's title, cuz I sure as hell never remembered half the homework assigned to me on friday by my teacher! 


	4. Goldilockpicks and the 3 bigfoots

Hiya people, its me again! Support me with my poring killing campaign, I need no competition! I shall be the best blob there is! Anyways, this story is dedicated to Destiny, whom requested this story.  
  
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Goldilockpicks and the 3 Bigfoots  
  
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Once upon a time, there was a pretty little girl who had hair shiny and blond as gold, with lock picking qualities to match her qualities of hair, but let's not get to that part yet. There lived 3 Bigfoots in the forest. The papafoot, the mamafoot, and the babyfoot. They shared a huge house. They each had a bed. One day, they ate honey, like they always did. But they heated the honey too much, and it was too hot. Why they were cooking honey and just honey, I don't know, I'm merely the author, I make up random stuff. They decided to take a walk. Now, back to this little girl. She was a thief, she was stealing mushrooms and flowers from people picking them when she stumbled across the house. The house was locked by... Oh... 20000 different locks? How a bigfoot family was intelligent enough to do that, don't ask me! But, her name being Goldilockpicks, she was able to pick ALL the locks before you could say "thief". No, don't say it, be quiet, you have the right to remain silent! QUIET! Anyways. She went in, and she was EXTREMELY in need of SP for stealing more stuff. She saw the honey, and thought "Hey, SP healing items!" She picked papafoot's honey up, and tasted it. "Too sweet!" She said. She picked up mamafoot's honey up, and tasted it. "Too bland!" She said. Finally, she picked up babyfoot's honey, and tasted it. "Just right!" She said, and she gobbled the rest down. She ran out, stole a few more mushrooms and flowers, and got tired. She ran back to the house, and wanted to sleep. She went upstairs, and tried papafoot's bed. "Too hard!" She said, and went to the next one. She tried mamafoot's bed. "Too soft!" She said, and she went to the final bed. She tried babyfoot's bed, and said "JUUUUUUST right!" She said, and fell fast asleep. The bears finally got back, and not realizing all their locks were picked, cuz they just crash through the door anyways. Papafoot went to his honey, and said "Somebody tasted my honey!" Mamafoot went to her honey, and said "Somebody tasted my honey!" Babyfoot got to his honey, and said "Somebody ATE my honey!" The 3 bigfoots went upstairs, and papafoot said "Somebody slept in my bed!" Mamabear said "Somebody slept in my bed!" Baby bear said "Somebody is sleeping IN my bed!" Goldilockpicks jumped up, startled, and backed to a corner afraid the bears would eat her. Sure enough, they almost did. They jumped her, but she was able to swing a butterfly wing in time. She had many marks of blood on her, but all her possessions were safe. Ofcourse, the person to tend her wounds is me, Thingy The Blob, the author who likes to cameo himself in every chance he gets. Not a very good job, too bloody, and I have to stand the constant thieving of my money. How a knight can heal? I'm a blob, I am what people shape me into. PWN'D! LOLZ KTHXBAI!  
  
And, ofcourse, Goldilockpicks lived happily ever after, while I lived penniless for a while.  
  
The end  
  
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That's the end of that story! Stay tuned tomorrow for my next story! 


	5. Hansel and Gretel

Hello people! Today's story will be... Hansel and Gretel, simply because I cant think of better names. Sue me. Kill me. Whatever. I am a blob, I shall be superior. To prove that...  
  
aphrodite24goddess writes:  
  
goldilockpicks is nice, but you had a flaw near the last part, BTW. when they  
  
were upstairs and papafoot said "somebody slept in my bed!" afterwards you  
  
changed mamafoot to mama bear and babyfoot to babay bear. okay. please please  
  
please do hansel and gretel? mr. blob?  
  
I AM A BLOB! I AM SUPERIOR! YOU DO NOT CORRECT ME!  
  
Anyways, your correction has been taken into consideration. I was just kinda lazy with many games to play. Have a nice day, and here is your requested story. Ofcourse, this is dedicated to you, if you haven't noticed. But, you coulda suggested one where I can actually think of better names.  
  
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Hansel and Gretel  
  
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One day, as our story begins, there was a happy family. A mother, a father, and their 2 little kids, Hansel and Gretel were living together with joy. The story takes place in Payon Forest, because that's the only forest I can think of with animals that are actually animals. Unlike umbala forest, but yea, whatever! Hansel and Gretel were fast learners, so they were archers quite soon. Their dad is a knight who had a bad build, so he retired to the forest as a lumberjack sick of fighting and being called a N00B. Their mother was a huntress native to payon. But one day, out of all sudden-ness, their mother fell to a decease known as "N00B15HN3ZZ", and started botting and talking in 1337 all day long. This made Hansel and Gretel sad, and they chased her to the hunter's guild one day, and saw her officially banned by the officials of Gravity stationed there. They were powerless to stop their mother's banning, but the guildsmaster said they would become great hunters if they worked hard, and it sparkled a new faith in them. Later, their father remarried. The step-mother was a cruel and evil person who disliked Hansel and Gretel. They lived in misery for nearly an eternity. A few months later, the step-mother wanted to chase Hansel and Gretel out of the house, so she said "Tomorrow, please take your bread and look for the hunters guild, then go to prontera, then come back, search for 200 racoon leaves, then run to Alberta and get 20 packages for me please." With the sense they will be rigged to get lost, Hansel and Gretel searched for many pebbles. They threw them down as they advanced in their journey. Upon the entering of the hunters' guild, they were awarded with the honor of being hunters instead of archers. They, ofcourse, accepted the offer, and went to prontera. After prontera, they went to collect the leaves. After they collected the leaves, they ran to Alberta and got 20 packages for their step-mother. When they came back safely, the step-mother nearly exploded from anger, but managed to keep it unseen. Hansel and Gretel had a peaceful night, but the next morning, a list of demands from their step-mother came in front of their faces. "10 pieces of coal, 50 pieces of steel, 20 pieces of iron", it read. Hansel and Gretel didn't have stones, and were afraid they were going to get lost. They thought of another great idea! They grabbed their bread, and started to leave small crumbs on the way to the coal mine. When they finished hunting, they found all their bread gone. Their birds, however, were so stuffed they couldn't move. They sighed and cried, but they kept moving on. They wandered into the payon forest again by mistake, but they were happy. In their moment of joy, they realized the payon forest was confusing and they were very hungry. They searched over the forest atleast 40 times, but they couldn't find their house. They stumbled across a magnificant sight. A house made of sweet stuff! They ran over, and started chomping on the house. A bathory came out, and Hansel said "Step back! We will hurt you!". But instead of doing what the 2 young hunters expected her to do, the bathory said "Come now dearies, let us go get something to eat!" They were still hungry, so they went in. Once inside, the bathory's magic sealed the usage of ranged attacks, and Hansel and Gretel knew they were in trouble when the door refused to open.  
  
Random guy: STUPID AUTHOR! THEY CAN'T USE ARROW BLOCKING SPELLS! LOLZ N00B KTHXBAI!  
  
Guess what, THEY CAN NOW! *casts pneuma all over the house*  
  
The bathory trapped Hansel in a cage, and forced Gretel to be her slave. She was going to cook Hansel and eat him, because he was looking mighty tasty with his balance of height and strenth. Just as the bathory was going to throw Hansel's cage into her couldron, the author's pneuma wore off. Hansel shot the bathory 40 times with his bow, and his bird pommeled the bathory non-stop. The bathory, ofcourse, was put simply-PWN'D! But the bathory was still alive! The author made her immortal! Stupid author! But just then, Gretel came in and used Charge Arrow on the bathory, and pushed her into the couldron she was going to cook Hansel in. They went outside the house, and ate the rest of it. They then suddenly found out that they are on the wrong map, and so they finally got home. Once home, they found out their father had chased their step-mother out, and so they lived happily ever after.  
  
The End  
  
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Well, sorry aphrodite24goddess, that story isnt as clearly in my mind as some of the others, so this turned out crappy.  
  
Also, I am aware of the fact that the step-mothers request was unreasonable, and that Gravity is almost never active in banning bots. But, hey! It's a story! It's all made up! Stay tuned tomorrow for our next story! 


	6. The Sleeping Sohee

Hey hey hey! Another day, another story added to our storybook collection! Weeeeeeeee! Horray! Yea!! But first, a word from our reviewers.  
  
Kairi21 writes:  
  
Yahoo! Ya updated! The stories are getting better and better keep it up! ^_~ (  
  
Stop pulling yourself down you are NOT the least fave author if ya were nobody  
  
would be reviewing ne? ^_~) If ya still wanna write some how about Sleeping  
  
Sohee? ( Gomen ran out of ideas besides I love Sohees...) till nxt tym Ja ne!  
  
^_^  
  
Well, THE BLOB IS SUPERIOR! YOU DO NOT TELL WHAT THE BLOB HAS TO DO!  
  
Well, your words have been taken into consideration. This story, The Sleeping Sohee, is dedicated to you, if you haven't noticed.  
  
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The Sleeping Sohee  
  
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A sohee, a female who died a virgin without any true love... Such a sad story, and yet there is one that was happy... There was one particular sohee, who was an outcast because she had loved. She was cursed by the others into an eternal sleep.  
  
Random Guy: LOLZ NUB 7H47Z ZO BR13F LOLZ LOLZ KTHXBAI N00B!  
  
Shut up, I don't remember that part too well!  
  
She slept for 100 years, and she kept her youth because of her curse. But she was still sleeping, and only a kiss would wake her up. 100 years later, a young crusader who worked for the cause of god had been announced the heir to the throne. He was Prince... HolyGuy1028502893, but that's the alias he uses when he is in the streets. His real name is Prince Vwogee, pronounced Vwo-g-ee. A hint of the things to come. Anyways, he was to retrieve his own crown from an osiris before he was announced king, so he set out on a journey. He was sort of lost after a few days of searching, though. Instead of going to Morroc, he ended up in payon. He went down the payon caves thinking it was the place where osiris resided, and when he went to Payon Caves level 3 he saw something he gasped in awe at. The beauteous sohee who had slept so long. He saw a barrier though, but just then, something happened! There was a loud crashing noise, and you can hear curses coming from the other side of the wall. The wall crumbled, and revealed none other than... Thingy The Blob, the author who puts himself in his stories! Thingy The Blob told the pathetic prince "Foolish human, to save her, you must collect 200 real life dollars, 50 ancient lips, 500 alice aprons, 100 solar swords and 20mil zeny!" The prince, ofcourse, had his personal secret network of ninja spies bring him just what was needed, but Thingy The Blob continued "You also need the rainbow gem from the depth of the volcanos, the jewel that burns eternally from the place where Satan resides, and the bloody jellopy from the poring who had slain 10000000000 level 99 knights!" The prince, somehow, had those supplies too. But Thingy The Blob continued "Then you must also bring me a glass of coke, a plate of meat, some cake, and alot of food." The prince, no doubt, had those items too. Thingy The Blob refused to give up, and asked for more. He asked for a silver spoon of Satan, an Evil Heart from the god above, a Blade of Flames wielded by a snowman, and yet the prince had those too. Thingy The Blob finally gave up, took all the items, and left. The barrier was broken, but the sleeping sohee was still sleeping. The prince tried all the different things he could, but he still failed to notice the note that says "Kiss The Cursed To Wake The Cursed Up" until Thingy The Blob told him for 200 billion zenies. Thingy The Blob ran with the money and lived happily ever after. The-oh wait, this is about the prince and the sohee! The prince kissed the Sohee on the lips, and watched as the newly awakened sohee wake up. The sohee yawned, saw the prince, and fell instantly in love. But because this is true love, the sohee slowly started to dissapear from existance... She slowly dissolved into nothingness, as the prince weeped. The prince cried out for the sohee, but the sohee continued to dissapear. The sohee left this world, and at the same time the prince crying. The prince took the rest of his life to weep for the lost of somebody he loved.  
  
The End  
  
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Awww, poor prince... Well, I needed something to wrap up cuz im lazy today. Good day ppl! Stay tuned for my next story! 


	7. Snow White

Hey, sorry ppl for the few days without stories. I've been lazy and busy for the past few days, so heres a story today! This one is dedicated to San, and its Snow White and the Seven Cookies  
  
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Snow White and the Seven Cookies  
  
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Once, there was a queen of rune midgard who was kind and beautiful. She loved to sow, and while she was pregnant, she sowed for her young child inside of her. One day, while she was sowing in a beautiful winter day, she prayed "Please, oh great lord above, if my child should be a girl, let her have skin as beautiful and white as the snowflakes." Just then, she pierced her finger, and thought of more things to say: "Please, also, oh lord above, let my child have lips as crimson as my blood." With that prayer, she finished her sowing. But, when the fateful day when the baby was about to be born, the poor poor queen died. The birth was successful, but it came at the price of the kind and beautiful wife of the ruler of rune midgard. But the gods have not frowned upon her fate completely. The gods gave her child crimson lips, pale yet beautiful skin, and a face that charms the coldest of hearts, as well as the kindness that matches her beauty. With that, the father to the princess named her Snow White. Sadly, though, the young girl's father married another woman. A woman who's heart was cold, jealous and of pure darkness. The woman treated Snow White like dirt, trash, and everything bad, and she used the treasury of rune midgard to buy herself a magical crystal mirror. It costed her 50000z, nothing like she could afford when she was a novice instead of the queen. She hanged the mirror on the wall, and asked "Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest of them all?" The mirror replied: "Snow White, my queen, she is the prettiest of them all!" The queen was furious, and asked a hunter to hunt down Snow White after luring her to a supposedly scheduled "hunting training", and bring back her heart. During the stay at the forest for Snow White's hunting training, the hunter could not keep it in any longer. He blurted out the queen's plans, and killed a Savage. He took the Savage's heart, and told Snow White to run to the ends of the world of Ragnarok Online. Snow White ran, and the hunter departed. Snow White stumbled upon a small hut during her escape, and went in. It was a mess, and she cleaned it up. While she was about to leave, 7 cookies ran through the door. They saw their hut so neat and tidy, and they thought it wasn't theres, so they ran out and was never seen again. Meanwhile, the queen figured out the hunter had tricked her, and disguised herself as a fragile old lady. She found Snow White at the former hut of the 7 cookies, and she cackled and smiled, and knocked on the door. She asked "Would you, kind lady, please buy this apple for 3z?". Meanwhile, she was applying poison to the apple, and showed the perfect apple in front of Snow White's face. Having eaten nothing, Snow White took the apple and bit into it. She soon was poisoned by the apple, and fell into a deep sleep. The evil queen cackled and ran back to her castle, but as she was running back, a young prince came. Now this prince is a sick, sick, necrophiliac or whatever, and he saw the gentle and beautiful lady in front of him dead. He bowed down and kissed the princess on the lips, and the princess came to life. She clinged onto the prince unwilling to let go, and the prince was unhappily married to somebody so alive. The queen, however, found out that Snow White still lived, and she was so angry she exploded. Snow White then lived happily ever after.  
  
The end  
  
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boy that was crappy, kthxbai 


	8. Beauty and the Werewolf

Slowly, from the crypts of blobs, a corpse emerged. The half rotting corpse of the fabled blob, whom has rested in his extremely lazy slumber, arises into the world of which he has slugged around in. He makes a noise, shivering "brrrr". He says "Damn! The mud felt warmer!". He stops self narrarating! Alright, I am back from my laziness and now I shall exterminate more braincells from your brainssssss! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-slips and falls back inside grave ow...  
  
Well, our last request was for a Beauty and the Beast from Destiny! Omgwtf rejoice! ... I said rejoice!  
  
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Beauty And the... What?!  
  
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Hey, who knew random smashing of keyboard can make an... ok... banner? Well, now that we're done admiring my banner, let's get to the story!  
  
One day, in a distant castle, where a handsome prince was residing, a... Volcano explosion erupted and the castle was somehow lava proof due to the weird physics of fanfictions. An old lady ran to the door, knocking on it. The prince opened the door, followed by "I am terribly sorry, but I have no room for you." The lady was then killed by a drop of lava which landed on her head. Ouch!  
  
2 seconds later, before the old lady's soul went to the heavens, a young and fair maiden came. The maiden knocked on the door, and the prince got-Oh wait, this is supposed to be for the whole family. Anyways, the prince opened the door and said "Comee in and shelter yourself, fair maiden! Time is ticking, the lava shall engulf you if you do not hurry!" The old lady witnessed everything, and placed a curse on the prince, turning him into a vile, ugly looking be-Uh... We need a beast here!  
  
)(!&$%!%!)($&!)(&$!%!&$(!% ---Notice another random banner! Rejoice again!  
  
A little side story: Thingy the Blob's Quest for a Beast  
  
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On a fair and sunny day, our beloved author... gets smashed by hurled rotten eggs and tomatoes Is sitting behind a recruitment desk.  
  
Thingy: Alright, calling all beasts existing in RO!  
  
Lo and behold, a baphomet comes!  
  
Thingy: Too scary!  
  
Baphomet's feelings are hurt, and it cries its way home. Then, a Lunatic came!  
  
Thingy: Too cute!  
  
Lunatic: Would you like tea?! No I am not crazy! Crazy not I am! Ahahahahahaha! Tea?! TEA?!?! CARROT TEA?!?! AHAHAH-SSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH  
  
Sorry, but the bloody scenery could not be produced with text alone. Now, we shall observe how our next beast do! A punk (you know, those flying dust bunny things) comes!  
  
Thingy: Too dirty!  
  
Punk: I am NOT dirty! I am completely chast an-  
  
Thingy: Too literally dirty.  
  
Punk: DAMN!  
  
The Punk leaves the stage, and a Werewolf steps up  
  
Thingy: Too dange-  
  
Werewolf: Do I get the job or what?!  
  
Thingy: Too danger-  
  
Werewolf: I better...  
  
Thingy: Um... Uh... Ah... sweats like crazy  
  
Werewolf: Spit it out, do I get the job?! shines sharp fangs  
  
Thingy: Y-y-y-yes you d-d-d-d-do! N-n-n-n-now go up and break a l-l-l-leg!  
  
Werewolf: You telling me to break my leg?!  
  
Thingy: Yes! I mean... N-NO!  
  
Werewolf: Make up your mind!  
  
Thingy: NO! NEVER!  
  
Werewolf growls, gets the wrong idea, and the following scene has a severely mutilated corpse of our author, so it should not be seen by children under the legal age to see violence.  
  
Well, thats the end of that little side story, back to the main!  
  
-ast. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Says the prince. The old ha-I mean lady says "Only when a fair maiden who can love your ugly form may break the curse!" With that, she disappeared  
  
"Well, fair maiden, will your lovely form be the form which is respected as queen by all of the people?" Asked the prince, who is now a werewolf.  
  
With a sharp shriek straight to the ears, the fair maiden the prince had just saved ran out the door, and got burnt to a crisp by lava, and so ends the little story about this beast.  
  
One day, some random old guy with an absolutely beautiful daughter whom he stupidly named "Ytueb"(luckily the daughter gave herself a better name, which was "Beauty") went into the forests alone. He forgot to tighten the bag which carried all his canned tuna(Don't ask me how they invented canning back then), and was stranded, lost without food. He stumbled upon the castle of our handsome prince.  
  
"Dear prince, please, allow me to stay the night and give me some food!" The old geezer begged.  
  
Learning the lesson, and not knowing this was a dumb old geezer unlike the old lady, the prince offered the old geezer a feast, as well as a grand room. "But I have one request of you, old gee-I mean dear old sir. I wish for your daughter to come and serve me as a payment." The prince added before the old geezer left. The old geezer, being the idiot that he is, agreed.  
  
Now, don't ask me how the hell the prince knew the old geezer had a daughter, I had no idea...  
  
The old geezer left for home, and upon going home, the old geezer called for his daughter.  
  
"Ytueb! Come to me! I beseech thee!" The old geezer cried.  
  
"Father, I am not a summoned beast, and my name is Beauty!" Beauty, our so beloved heroine who is working as a Kafra employee in Comodo. Her eyes lost its pupil, and had no shine, making her look like a possessed and controlled creature rather than a human.  
  
"Ytueb, I wish for you to leave for the castle of that burnt down city. The werewolf in there wishes for your assisstance!" The old geezer commanded.  
  
"Yes father, I shall go, and my name is BEAUTY!!!" Our beloved heroine replied, and threw her clipboard at her father's face, stole her father's car, and left for the castle while cheering inside, knowing she might meet the prince if she is to serve the werewolf of the castle, with the added bonus of being away from her idiotic father.  
  
But, not all is well, a random muscle bound idiot, uh, I forgot his name so I'll call him Nwarb... Nwarb loved Beauty more than anybody. He set out to stop her, but ofcourse he got trampled by her horse, and it wasn't exactly a nice scene to watch, so... yea...  
  
At the castle, our heroine, Yte-I mean Beauty, has already arrived at the gates. After only a minute or so of travelling? Damn, that's some rocket boosted horse she's got! Anyways, she knocked on the door, and the door came crashing down at her. But before she was crushed, the werewolf got in front of her and stopped the door from crushing her into a pancake. It was then when Beauty fell in love with the creature.  
  
They fell in love, they danced, they played, blahblahblah, yay, all happy and stuff! The only thing to do before the curse was marriage. You fill up this section with your imagination, cuz I'm too lazy to think of something myself.  
  
But before the marriage, there was an assault. It was Nwarb. Nwarb(with his embarracingly stupid name) became the leader of the local villagers, and they marched towards the castle since the day he got trampled over. Damn, this proves how godly Beauty's rocket boosted horse was! Anyways, they laid seige on the castle, so Nwarb can marry Beauty instead. But the werewolf growled, and everybody got scared, and Nwarb got teared to pieces. So they married and lived happily ever after, just that without his werewolf form the prince didn't have the power to clean up the mess he made by tearing the innards out of Nwarb, so they always had a bloody mess at their door, but they lived happily ever after.  
  
(!&!&$!%)(!&$)(!&%)(!)$!($ ----REJOICE! READERS! ANOTHER RANDOM BANNER!  
  
The End  
  
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What happened to the old geezer? I don't know! I just know that he died.  
  
Old Geezer: Calling me old geezer?! I'll change you into something fearsome!   
  
(insert lightning effects)  
  
Old Geezer: That'll teach you!  
  
AHHH! I look like... GASP! A BLOB! Any lady friends out there that-  
  
... Oh wait, I am a blob.  
  
Nevermind. 


End file.
